Friday, December 11, 2009
I can't think of another point in my life when I've wanted time to go by so quickly. All I
want is a waffle, or maybe a taco. Fruit? A potato, even-- raw. I don't care. I went to the
grocery store today and watched my mother-in-law pick up a bag of powdered doughnuts
for her husband... and I seriously wanted to murder somebody. Those little teasing
doughnuts, I swear I could taste them. At home, I have a pantry full of food that I cannot
touch, dozens of jars of fancy teas which I cannot drink. No carbs, no sodium, no
caffeine-- that sounds so simple when you read it, but do me a favor. Go look at the
Nutrition Facts labels on the food in your cupboards and fridge and answer me this... what
the hell am I supposed to eat?
The day I feel the absolute worst and need a good dose of sleep is the day the cardiologist
hooks me up to a 24-hour take-home heart monitor. I woke up every fifteen minutes or so,
terrified that I had accidentally unplugged something and would have to repeat the damn test
the next day. The rest of the week has been no better. There's an awful cold going around,
and I foolishly thought I could avoid it. No dice.
For the past month, I've been tied down by dietary restrictions and activity restrictions which, between doctor's office visits,
leave room for little more than melding with the couch. Normally this would be prime drawing and/or site-updating time, save
that I don't currently have an Internet-capable computer at home to use, and my brain is nowhere to be found. I'm in a fog
where I cannot write, cannot draw, and cannot think for the most part, and I still have.... what? At least a month more of this
to go. For now, the XBox keeps me company, but it's a strained relationship. I feel guilty for not being productive, and damn it,
I just want to eat the cereal in my cabinet. During Winter, I should be getting back into my swimming habit, as well as
slumming in the gym hot tub with a bunch of interesting, talkative old people. Or I should at least be getting my ass handed to
me in racquetball. But guess what else I'm not allowed to do?
Forgive my bitchiness here. My spouse and in-laws are likely tired of hearing my grouching, and I haven't exhausted my
need to rant. As my spouse often tells me, I become something of a gremlin when I don't eat.
Once mid-January comes about, I don't know how productive I'll be on any project, art or otherwise. There may very well
be another long lapse in site updates, depending on how things play out. Don't expect much. Though I will inform those on my
mailing list if something actually gets done.
That being said, I am actually doing holiday cards this year, as always, but they're already a little late, especially the
international ones. I expect to get those out in the mail by Monday, so if you're expecting a card from me, just know that I
haven't brushed it aside this year.